If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
