Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
