you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
