the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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