Jerry, you need to find god
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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