I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
