Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
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I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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