Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
