i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
