i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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