hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize