We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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