he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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