just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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