so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
