I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
