im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My butt remains clenched, sir.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
