Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
