when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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