We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
