just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
