Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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