Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Randomize
