maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
