In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
