i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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