Moan for me like Helen Keller
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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