Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think your dad took our porno
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
