have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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