i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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