In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize