i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
