Whod you bang
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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