we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
