Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
