Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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