yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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