u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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