even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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