I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
