think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
