Christians are straight up FREAKS
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
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You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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