it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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