it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Enjoy the penises
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
