If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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