yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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