I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
