This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
