Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
A+ Viking dick