She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm experimenting with sincerity
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!