a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.