I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
operation have a gay friend backfired
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!