Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...