I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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