Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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