if only i could text you this smell
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
