So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
