so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
