I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
