I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
