I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize