am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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